Miley Matryoshka?

Today I voice my outrage at the outrage over Annie Leibovitz’s Vanity Fair photographs of Miley Cyrus. Lewd smut, a youngster taken advantage of, the making of a future Britney – all in one photograph. And the defense: “but these are merely classical artistic conventions that have been around for hundreds of years,” and, “no one understands the art here.” When I finally saw the Vanity Fair photographs, I was appalled. Not because of a naked shoulder, or because the American media was failing to understand art. No, I was horrified at the emerging debate over this photograph because, clearly, Miley Cyrus is possessed by the devil. You thought Miley was just an actress/singer/model playing a normal girl, playing rock star, on a Disney Channel television show? Holy postmodern mindfuck, Batman, did America ever drop the ball on this one!

If you put Leibovitz’s photograph up next to a shot of Regan from The Exorcist, you’ll see what I mean: the pale skin, the fierce eyes, the chubby cheeks and long brown hair. Let’s not even get into the hidden work of Mercedes McCambridge, a three-in-one identity is enough for a minor whose entire fame is premised upon a character within a character within character. But what we learn from this debate is that America wants an extra layer, that no one wants to confront the reality of this woman’s possession. No one has noticed that Disney has been selling a product, an image, an icon, a reified mass of nerves and tissue, who, between songs, and episodes, and red-carpet events, probably projectile vomits pea soup? I know we’ve become used to the idea of young American celebrities puking after every meal, but am I the only one who sees the need for a priest here? Atheist, schmathiest, we need a spiritual cleansing when it comes to Miley Cabana-Satana, and I recommend we grab the nearest crucifix, some pure, mountain spring holy water, call Max von Sydow’s agent, and tie Miley to a bed. Unfortunately, given our pomo desire for total persona saturation, I can only imagine her exorcism as a live, two-hour media event. To make sure we keep everything legal, we’ll just have to wait another three years to fully exercise her demons. Oh, the poor child!

This critique isn’t all fun and games, I have a point: this woman might as well be possessed by the devil when, in the article accompanying the photograph, she channels Miley Stewart in order to react to this image of Miley Cyrus. Her appearance in that photograph challenged many people’s conception of who this person is, who the real person behind the character behind the character might be. And, ultimately, we imagine that this girl will one day “grow up,” but we can’t imagine that she already has. At fifteen years old, we’re ambivalent as to whether or not this semi-nude photograph of her is acceptable because we feel guilty for wanting her to drop the cloth just a little bit more. But Cyrus isn’t Natalie Portman in The Professional, a role that turned half of America into pedophiles; she’s actively using sex to sell herself, and she knows what she’s doing.

Which brings us to back to Disney, which said, in a press release: “…a situation was created to deliberately manipulate a 15-year-old in order to sell magazines.” Uh huh, that same woman was also “manipulated” into performing at dozens of teeny-bopper concerts as Hannah Montana, and into earning millions of dollars a year. But who is the manipulator here? I think it can all be traced back to whatever demonic presence has inhabited this oh-so-innocent child. Look closely, and you can almost see the outlines of “Help me,” written from within, appearing on her stomach. If you can’t see it, wait five to ten years and it should be completely visible. But mark of the devil or not, let’s not deprive her of the agency and intelligence necessary to see that America craves these kinds of photographs from every female celebrity two or three years older than her. Her only sin is not realizing that she was supposed to be the antidote to this cultural “malady,” not another symptom of it. So if we are going to believe that this girl didn’t understand what was going on at an Anne Leibovitz photo shoot, I think someone should look into the matter. I want to propose an examination and an exorcism, but don’t take my word for it, just wait. Maybe her next bubblegum pop song will feature an artist named Captain Howdy and a chorus of backwards Aramaic curses. I can’t wait to see how Disney spins that one.